~3:30pm
I feel empty today. It’s partly cloudy outside, but, emotionally, I feel down. If it weren’t for my mother’s birthday passing over the weekend or her death, I’d assume I feel this way because I didn’t have caffeine yet.
But this is grief. This isn’t just a fading emotional state. This is intense pain and welcomed apathy. This is the desire to reclaim my old youthfulness, to feel free from the adult burdens and follow-up business calls. I just want to crawl back into bed, cover my entire body with the comforter, and sleep.
I can’t give in though. I can’t let grief win by conceding to it anymore than Trump can accept losing the 2020 presidential election. For me, there has to be more to life. But how does life continue after you lose someone to whom you were so close? Life can’t continue! It’s no longer the same. I can never go back to the way I once was. I’m not entirely sure I remember who I was.
Kee Grieves 